A RAMBLING APOLOGY...TWO CANS AND A STRING. STRECHED OUT BETWEEN TWO SEPERATED BEACHES

I've sent a dear friend away along with the feelings I carry inside. A friend that has rarely been seen nor shared in the held memories of those times in the flesh. My thoughts and strengths falsely created and laid out like a military action in this scene are that of a ridiculous sense of doing the right thing. Those feelings still exist. That friend still exists, and I've throw it away. And perhaps she's gone now, and left? all that was there in conscience along that distant beach. Scattered about like the broken shells once occupied by life, to be cast and carried away by tide only to find its way to another shore as tumbled sand. The right thing to do would be to extend an apologetic gesture, and ask for forgiveness. But they've been beaten into a cliche. Yet another movie, regergatated into another 8 dollar ticket swept up from sticky theater floor. At least Matthew is living well from those shitty movies in Malibu now. Smoking too much grass and playing His bongo's as loud as He wishes in the nude. DREAMS have a funny way of coming together, only usually in a twisted form of what was not exactly hoped for or expected. It may seem that I am getting off the tracks. I tend to do that. The reality is that an idea is planted and is watered regularly and grows into something = a possibility. That possibility must be picked at the right time before it's too late, or stored in a place that will keep it from shriveling back into nothing. I guess a simple apology will due. The imagination I live with, has created beautiful things in my reality. I hope aswell for others at times. Other times it's created wrong, or just layed dormant. Possibly best dormant. But. I don't want to be heard, I just feel compelled to say something. I want to apologize. The greatest thing in this life is the beauty and hope You create for it and Your relationship with the one's who believe in You. And as important what you give back to them. The other thing of life is the endurance - There is no easy way to it. Just pushing forward through the mess of it. every day hurdles and challenges. It is very much there as I imagine this thing being a river your forced into down deep in a canyon with vertical walls on each side. At the bottom is giving up, and at the top is that place we all strive and live for... To do the easy thing is to let the river take You and let the current carry you away letting all go into nothing. The other way is obvious - Push on with that mighty spark inside igniting it like a flame thrower out into the Universe and Yelling out 'NOT ME YOU SON OF A BITCH, NOT TODAY, NOT NOW, NOT EVER!' And pushing through the current uphill one force full leg at a time. One step, then another. Smiling back at the Son of a Bitch showing it that Your spirit will never be defeated. One of My favorite quotes was given to Me by a Woman I shared a piece of My life with, lost in time now. I don't remember the Author but I still have the quote She gave Me stuffed in a book somewhere. It read 'I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail My ship'. That always meant a great deal to Me. And for that matter Her as well. Getting to a point here somewhere. I usually will hide it in amongst My ramblings for You to dig it out. I have rare moments, one's where I may just give You a look and it's all there in My eye's. But We are neither here, nor there. What ever endavours and paths You take out there amongst the Mystery I will always be here for You. One of the things I've learned (and this may have been recent from a mutual friend) is that no matter what, the friendship is the most important thing. When it comes to people who share that kindred spark. If that seizes for what ever reason, and is simply tossed in the scrap pile, then what ever was the point. It wasn't the idea that I had thrown away. It was the friendship. For that I am wrong. And let it be if another birth is shit out the ass of some Bastard living in between the worlds of Venice and Santa Monica and lands on His/Her scripted writings because I'm using the cliche to ask if You were to ever find it within that beautiful Heart of Yours to reopen that door to let an old friend back in from the cold. I am sorry...